January 15, 2005

• You've heard of a "gaggle of geese" ....now see a:

  
  

  Kaleidoscope Of  Ducks!

  
  

  

  
  

  Today, like many of my days lately, had a kind of bittersweet quality. The morning was spent going over my separation/divorce agreement. It meant going over to my old home and meeting with my soon to be ex husband. I find it difficult, and emotionally draining to keep returning to a place with so many memories - some happy, but some terrifying and horrible. In some ways time has dulled the pain,giving the visits an almost surreal quality,  but I still find myself having what I guess are referred to as "flashbacks" at the oddest times. I could be waiting at a red light or just going about my business and wham! Of course I still have trouble sleeping and a problem with night terrors and sleepwalking. It is getting better, but I long for and treasure a truly good nights sleep.

  
  

  When I feel a little melancholy the best cure I know is to head to the lake and feed the ducks. As you can see by the photo above, they were out in full force! I love all birds (yes, even pigeons that poop on my balcony!), all animals, but out of all creatures I find ducks to be particularly soothing. They are loud, gregarious, comical and friendly. They are not easily offended and always appreciate any bread crusts you have to offer. Just looking at them lifts my spirits, and it did the trick today.  

  
  

  I then met up with my old friend Audrey. I have known her for over twenty years. Between us we could probably write at least ten novels with the drama of our lives! She is a strong woman who has overcome many hardships and still manages to keep a sense of humour. I won't discuss her life struggles as it would compromise her privacy, but I admire her ability to cope with life and everything it manages to throw at us. We go through periods where we are in constant contact, and then lose touch as circumstances change. The funny thing is, no matter how long we have been apart, as soon as we talk we pick the threads of life right up and carry on. This woman knows things about my life and marriage that only one other person does - my therapist. I would trust her with my life. She is one person who can tell it like it is and will not hesitate to do so.

  
  

   There are so few people like this in the world that I feel particularly blessed, because I have so many in my life. It is easy to be a friend and have friends when times are easy. The people who hang around when everything falls apart are priceless treasures, and in this respect I am truly rich. People who are themselves going through difficulties have put themselves out there for me time and time again. Tanya, Trish, Sheila, Merline, Pauline, Audrey have truly gone beyond the call of duty! My co-workers whose names I won't mention to protect their privacy have all given me a shoulder to cry on, an arm to lean on and ears to speak into. They have offered me shelter, protection and kindness. I like to reflect on this when I start to feel down. It is a great recipe for Instant Sunshine!

  
  

  When I got home I had a nice email from the old hound's sister in law. I will have to come up with a suitable pseudonym for her! His whole family is quite remarkable, and I was delighted to hear from her. She has a quiet strength and a warmth that I admire greatly. The wonderful thing is, I don't think they realize just how remarkable they all are. They have a sense of family and honour that is not often seen anymore. Their children show an individuality and intelligence that will take them far. I shouldn't say children because they are young women, I am just showing my age! There is a genuineness about all of that family that is outstanding. Each brother is totally different from the other, yet they share core qualities that show what a special upbringing they must have had. Very lucky indeed!

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 11:06 pm
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