May 31, 2005

• "Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination."

  
  

  So many people spend so much time searching for happiness and waiting for happiness that they forget to just be happy. They forget to live in the moment, to be happy in the here and now. They say "I'll be happy when....", and sometimes that when never arrives.

  
  

  In searching my heart lately I find that I am happy. That is not to say that I am not beset by annoyances and frustrations. That is not to say that I don't get tired and overwhelmed. In spite of everything, or maybe it's because of everything that is going on around me, I feel quite simply - happy.

  
  

  It's a quiet, calm, peaceful kind of happiness that doesn't jump up and down and demand to be noticed. It just sits there in the background of my life filling in the colours of my heart like a canvas waiting to be painted.

  
  

  I am glad it's there, because at times I have been feeling something else - OVERWHELMED!  Not to a dangerous, toxic degree, but in the odd moment it will all creep up behind me and WHAM! smack me upside of the head. This is, in all honesty, a much bigger job than even I could have imagined. In a way I have bitten off more than I can chew so in order to manage I have to spit some out, rearrange what's left on the plate and just take smaller mouthfuls.

  
  

  My one fear is that if I become too overwhelmed this will no longer be fun. It will become a drag, a chore, a weight around my neck. I never want this to stop being a labour of love. I never want it to stop being fun. Things can go wrong, (and they do!), things can break (and they have!), things can be frustrating in the extreme (and they sometimes are!), but at the end of the day I don't regret buying this big, old, crumbling (in parts!), cracked, creaking house.

  
  

  I suppose what I didn't anticipate was the sheer enormity of just maintaining a house and property this size. Just the basics of housework and chores and yardwork. Dusting and cleaning a small bungalow and an apartment were simple. This is not. Especially with all the debris generated from repairs and renovations. At times I feel like I am living in a war zone and just have to clear away one space and have it neat and tidy, even though I know I'm going to mess it all up again the next day. Sometimes I just need to see a part of the house looking "normal".

  
  

  One giant leap has been the painting of the hallway. I believe it came out magnificently considering it was my first attempt at painting and the condition of the walls. The old hound was, as always, a great help. (The fact that he has the strength of ten men often comes in handy).The colour I chose (with the help of the old hound  ) is called Pink Cliff by Debbie Travis. It took two coats of heavy duty primer and two coats of paint, but now it looks wonderful. No longer is the entranceway a dark, forboding, grim portal of doom. Now it is a cheerful, bright, welcoming space. It will look spectacular once the floor tiles are put down. (I am waiting for the oil furnace and tank to be installed before I do that). Never having tiled before, I anticipate some challenges, but it will be a good learning experience and a good stretching of my creative muscles.

  
  

  Speaking of oil furnaces and tanks I finally got off the procrastination train and called Thermoshell. A very nice young man who looked about twelve (lately all young men look about twelve to me!) came and checked out my situation. No real surprises, I do need a new tank and furnace and some work done to the chimney. One kind of funny aside was that when he was inspecting the present furnace I was becoming quite alarmed because I could smell oil. I had never been able to smell oil in the basement before. It was on the tip of my tongue to mention it, but I am so glad that I didn't....I finally worked it out when we came upstairs that the oil smell was coming from HIM! He was saturated in it! Another funny thing was he apologized for not wearing his uniform, but said he had just been out to lunch with his wife - he hadn't even been working today - but the state of his hands were so black and grimey that he left little marks all over the paperwork!! It reminded me of my Uncle Malcom who was a car mechanic. No matter how much my aunt made him wash his hands they were always imbedded with oil. Anyhow, five thousand dollars later I will have a new furnace and tank next Monday. Hopefully my insurance company will be happy now!! It seems like alot, but a more efficient, reliable furnace is something I would be needing down the road anyway. (I did enquire about central air, but at another two thousand or so I'll forgo that luxury this year!!)

  
  

  When things do get too hot around here this summer I can always head to THE BEACH!

  
  

  

  
  

  A mere five minute drive and I arrive at Lakeview Park. There is a lovely beach, park area, pier and walking paths.

  
  

  

  
  

  I went for a walk along the beach the other morning and it was beautiful. Quiet and peaceful and very soothing to feel the sand between your bare toes.

  
  

  

  
  

  It wasn't very busy on that weekday morning. A few people reading their papers and some kids out with their moms or caregivers, the odd jogger (I always think joggers are odd!)

  
  

  

  
  

  I am truly blessed to be living so near to such a lovely spot. Maybe now I'll even learn to swim!!

  • 9:43 am
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